Short Term Memory

We all know that our Jory has his issues with food. His menu is limited and on top of that his desire to eat is just as bad. Tonight we took the family out to one of our favorite mexican restaurants for a change from the usual Friendly's or Johnny Rockets. Mira munches on the free tortilla chips and feeds me in the process because, well, mommy just doesn't eat enough. She nibbles here and there on her dinner, my dinner and Jory's dinner as well.

Jory on the other hand looks at his chicken fingers and immediately declares that he doesn't like them. No way is he eating them!! He eats a few waffle fries and thinks he is done. Us parents know he will be asking for potato chips or cookies as soon as we walk back in the door so we push and threaten and negotiate in order for him to get enough food to be acceptable. Every bite was a struggle and a tear. It was quite a scene and only a strong parent can deal with. I am sure many parents would have just left him sitting there and came back later. (if at all)

We finally gave up with the warning that he will not be getting anything after this meal. He will get his nighttime milk and it's bedtime for him. We pack up, take home the ice cream that he will never eat, bundle up and get back in the car. 4 doors close and the car is turned on. The next thing we hear is from Jory, "Mommy, can I have something to eat, please?!"

Who are you sleeping with?

I believe we are going to have a problem with our little Mira. She likes to hoard things. She is unlike her brother who likes to collect things like dice and rocks and other sorts. He at least puts all his collections in containers and keeps those containers in his room. Mira, on the other hand, collects friends. For awhile I would have to bring with me, not only my daughter, but all her doll 'friends'. She would have to lug them along to school.

Just before bedtime I took a snapshot of her bed all setup for the night. She MUST sleep with all these friends in their very specific spot. If they are not in their spot, she gets annoyed and immediately puts them in their proper place. If someone is missing, we cannot even get into the bed until he/she/it is found and put in their place. If there is someone in her bed that doesn't belong, they are quickly thrown out and onto the floor. But it's not only that she moves and removes these friends. She will point and say with a stern voice that they were misplaced and make sure whoever set it up, doesn't make that mistake again. Oy!

So this is the setup:

This all started with these two friends. Monkey always had to be in the right corner and Elmo had to be in the left. No IF's, AND's, or BUT's!

Then a few weeks ago we went to a diner nearby and she got her Pink Teddy Bear. She carried her around until a week later when Jory insisted we go back to get him a Teddy Bear (which has since been lost) and Mira got her own Blue Teddy Bear.

For awhile they slept in Mommy's room. But on Halloween Aunt Jill brought Mira the Orange Candy Bear and now the Teddy Bears must sleep in Orange Candy Bear's lap, right next to Elmo.

We had this small beanie cat for awhile. Last year she was nice enough to ask Ms. Rita at her school if she could hold it, and well, the cat never made it back to Ms. Rita. It's a good thing that Ms. Rita is smitten by Mira's cuteness, or we would have had a pretty big fight on our hands. Thank you!

Then this dog and Ms. Rita's cat used to be placed outside her door just before books/bed time, but they did eventually make it into her special lair of her bed.

Suddenly at a trip to Toys R Us she promised she would replace all her friends that she had to sleep with AND take everywhere with this very soft Webkins Jr. Cat. Soon did I realize that I was scammed and she was just added to the gang. So I guess she figured an appropriate place for her is holding Ms. Rita's cat on top of her by the pink monkey.

Just the other day she picked up this cute Bulldog at CVS and just couldn't put it down. This was his first night joining the crowd, but I soon learned that he didn't make the cut and sleeps on the floor with the other bed rejects.

Now just imagine in the mornings when I come and get her out of her crib, she hands me every one of these friends (and makes me pick up the bulldog off the floor). I have to carry her and them in my bed for her morning show. It's quite an ordeal.

How do you make love?

I was reading Jory a book tonight about giving a gift for Mom for Mothers Day. At the end of the book the boy gives his mother a box full of kisses filled with love. As I am finishing up the book, of course Jory knows the ending because I have read it to him a thousand times already, he asks me a question.

"How do you make love?"

Now this is not a question I was prepared to answer with a 5 year old and certainly not tonight. Of course my mind is thinking that I have to come up with something quite good to hold him over until he asks me again.

To my relief he tells me that love is hearts. You give hearts for love. Then he asks me if I know how to make love. Do "I" know what? Oh god, my heart was dropping. Then he asks if I know how to make love in a toaster.

A toaster? I asked him how?

"You take a long wooden stick and put a strawberry on it and put it in the toaster. Then it makes a spark and that makes love."

Phewww.

I guess that was better than him asking how he got in my belly to grow and how did he get out. And how did Mira get out of my belly. Oh, the questions.

3 am body parts check

The other night started out very quiet and calm. The kids went to sleep with not much of a fight and Ryan and I were able to watch American Idol off the Tivo undisturbed. We were looking forward to a full night of peaceful sleep. I hear whining coming from Mira's room. Then crying and after that was screaming. This is when I mutter words of dislike to my offspring and she just screams my name. "MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!" I look at my clock, 3 a.m. "Ugh!" is all I could say.

I crawl out of my very warm and comfy bed with a very big, fat cat sleeping soundly above my head. She keeps screaming until I open her door and then suddenly silence. She looks at me and smiles, says a few unrecognizable words and then I pick her up to sit in the rocking chair. This time she did NOT want to sit with me.

As soon as I turned towards the chair she pointed with a fierce determination to the door and yelled "Da-yee!" So, she wanted her daddy and I was in no mood to argue with her. I brought her to our bed and plopped her on my beloved. She was wide awake and I think the two of us were hoping the other would watch her while we slept. She would have none of that! She likes to lay on her mommy. She requested her favorite friend Elmo a few times but the answer was NO. Then she decided that she was going to inspect her parents. Maybe she was trying to make sure we were the same ones she had before going to bed. She squeezed Daddy's nose. Yup! Still there. She touched her own and then came over to mommy. Nose: Check! Then she went onto the other parts she knows. Ears: Check, check and check! We all had those, too. Eyes, mouth, teeth and whatever else she could find. By then we were a bit baffled and even more exhausted.

When she was done checking the parent figures out, she insisted on getting out of the bed. So I put her down on the floor to see where she would go. I was figuring she was going to lead me to her room to read her a gazillion books or to the kitchen for another cup or a snack. I was even thinking for a brief moment that she may try to go to the den to see if Elmo was possibly available there. Nope. She bolted straight for big brothers room. I have never seen her walk so fast to get somewhere. I could have been so tired that it seemed faster than it really was but she was, once again, determined.

Oh no! We do not bother Jory when he sleeps. She was not happy that Jory's door was shut and not to be opened. It did take a gazillion books before she stopped checking all my parts once again and back to sleep.

Disrobed

Today is a pretty busy day for me. I have a ton of calls and appointments to make as well as cleaning up breakfast and some major laundry projects need to be done or no one will have clothes to wear by the middle of the week. After I got home from dropping Jory off at his first day back to school after a long vacation and running some errands, I decided to put Mira in front of a Sesame Street so I can get things done. Of course she is happy as a pig in poop, so I know she is fine.

After a few phone calls and unloading and loading the dishwasher I get a visit from the little princess. She is happy and chatty and of course asking me for a cup and a cookie. You would think nothing of it. I turn around and I see this:


Then when she turned around to find me, I asked her, "What happened to your clothes?" and this is what she does:

There is never a dull moment here. Now I am beginning to wonder what Elmo is teaching her.

The grass is always greener...

A couple of weeks ago we had a few days, maybe weeks, where eating was a battle with Mira. She would refuse to eat everything and anything that was on her plate unless it was a potato chip or something chocolate. (Yes, I think it's a little too early for PMS indulgences). So in my frustration, I decided that if she wasn't going to eat dinner, I wasn't going to try. After potatoes and chicken pieces went flying across the room, I took her out of the highchair and told her to go play. She went right over to her Daddy, who just a few minutes before we sat down for dinner walked in from work. Its so nice to see that she wanted to be with him. She insisted on sitting on his lap. We knew this from her persistent grunting and squealing. She finally got what she wanted, Daddy's lap. It turns out that it wasn't HER dinner she wanted.

Daddy's Dinner from Randi Shapiro on Vimeo.

Tell us what you really think

Mealtimes are not very exciting for Jory. He eats a few bites and then asks to be excused. It's more like "I'm done, can I go watch TV?" We usually make sure he ate an acceptable amount of food and let him go especially if he asks nicely. At dinner last night he was being particularly antsy and we secretly were happy to let him go off to the other room for a few moments of peace while we finished our meal. Just outside the kitchen is a small wall where the wallpaper is slowly finding its way to the recycling bin. Jory had the brilliant idea of taking his sleeves and whack the lifting wallpaper to help it on its way. After many attempts to get him to stop and to get him to go watch his show, Ryan yelled out to him, "Stop Jory!!! Where do you think you live?"  Jory responds in a very quick, very sure, "A Barn!"

Table for...

The lack of posts from yours truly is not due to the kids not being funny.  In fact, they continue to be funnier every day.  But I get lazier.  Anyway, here's a couple of funny Jory-isms from tonight. We went out to dinner and we're on our way home.  Jory wants to change movies in the back seat theater and asks "What's N-O-D-I-S-C mean?"  It took us a second to figure out what he was spelling.  It's what the display shows when there's no DVD in the drive.


Then out of the blue he says, "There's four of us.  1, 2, 3, 4.  Yep, there's 4 of us, right daddy?"  I have no idea what he's doing.  "Yeah, there's 4 of us" ...  "Not 3 and a high chair like YOU said, you always say that daddy but there's four of us."  Once I stopped laughing I explained that Mira needs a high chair or she would not reach the table.  He suggested I just tell them we're 4 and a Mira.

DON'T play doctor with her

Mira has this funny habit of putting her finger in her ears. For the past 16 months I would constantly think that she had ear infections. I would trek her in and then get laughed at because her ears are absolutely perfect and clear. One doctor even jokes with me that she is trying to drive me crazy, already. I think she is right!

As Mira learns how to walk better and better each day she likes to do things with her hands. You saw a couple of days ago how she likes to carry evening purses on her arms. Sometimes she will walk around with a half eaten apple, dirty laundry (or clean; whatever she can get her hands on), cups, books...whatever. The past day or two she keeps sticking her finger in her ear while she is walking (and playing, but walking is what she likes to do most). Then she will try to put things in her ear like pretzel rods, toys, another persons finger. The list goes on.

After a long day, we were sitting on the couch relaxing and watching Yo Gabba Gabba. She turns towards me and yanks on my ear. She wants to see it. Ok, ill play along. She attempts to stick her finger in my ear. I turn my head and say NO! I continue to watch the show and she grabs my nose and pushes my head so she can see my ear again. I say NO! again and turn away. This time she uses all her might so she can see my ear and I, again, said NO! She gave up for a moment and found a toy 'shooter' from one of Jory's action figures. It has a 2 or 3 inch sword or spikey thing. She attempt to try it out in her ear and I looked at her and said NO! She put it down right away. The then turns my head with everything she had, and a few nails to make sure it happened, and tried to put the darned thing in my ear. That was it! Sword thing is gone and I will never let her be the doctor when we play.

Snuggles

Jory is a great sleeper once he is asleep. Even the late night screaming and the early morning whaling of his sister can't wake him. He does wake up for a brief moment sometimes when I go into his room before I go to bed to tuck him in and give him one last hug for the night. He does say something cute or often something simple like 'I love you, too, mommy.'  He always finds a way to melt my heart, even if he is talking in is sleep. 

Lately, at bedtime, Jory has been trying to find every way possible to get out of his bed and not go to sleep. He will say he hears dogs barking that sound like scary wolves or the shadows in his room are going to get him. He may even pull the rare 'I'm hungry.' No matter what, it's a ploy to keep himself from going to sleep.

Tonight he was having a particularly difficult time staying in his room and going to sleep. After the 'Im scared' trick and 'I want to sleep in your bed because it's more comfortable' and even the 'I'm thirsty' he finally came out of his room again. He was looking for me to show me what he had done to his light stick that was supposed to protect him from the dark. He somehow took the cover off, but that is not the point. I lead him back to his room and tucked him in. I gave him more hugs and kisses. He smiles at me and says to me, 'Guess what mommy? You get to give me extra snuggles now!'

When you think you are alone

I am never alone when I take a shower these days. I am always rushing and squeezing them in between soccer practice and music class. Usually I put Mira on the floor outside the shower and put a gazillion toys out for her to play with. You would think that in the 5 minutes it takes me to take a shower, she would be well occupied. She always seems to get bored enough that the toilet paper is the only thing that she wants to play with. The other day, I was rushing my shower and trying to play with her as she opens and closes the shower door with a few face squishes against the glass.  Can you say multitasking? I am rinsing my hair and then I hear her. Her voice sounded a little louder than usual and she was super happy. I turn to shut the door and see what she was up to. I was thinking for that split second that she took the whole roll of toilet paper and put it on her head. Nope. She was sitting right there in my shower, putting her hands out as if she was feeling the rain. I was quite stunned at the sight of my freshly dressed baby soaking wet in the shower. I have to say that stripping an already wet baby is no picnic. She had a blast in there while I got out and dried off. I have a feeling I will be sharing my daytime showers with her more often.

It just never ends!

We have started a rule in our house that a child, particularly Jory, cannot come into Mom and Dad's bedroom before the first number on his clock reads a 7. We even ran to Target 3 or 4 times before we got the right one. He has actually been pretty good about it. Trust me, a wake up call from him at 6 in the morning is NO treat. 

Jory has been sick with a pretty high fever. You wouldn't know it if you walked in my home and saw him jumping off the couches or down the stairs. Honestly, his fever was pretty bad. A few days ago the fever broke and he slept really, really late. I guess his body was catching up and getting as much rest as it could. It was about 10:30am and I start to hear sounds out of his bedroom. I realize he was singing one of his songs that keeps him occupied until it is time to get mommy or daddy. For some reason it just went on and on. I mean, it was way past the hour of 7 so I was just waiting for him to jump out of bed and get me. This never happened. Finally. I decided to record his wonderful singing while I went in to get him. 

Untitled from Randi Shapiro on Vimeo.
I guess it would have paid for him to be able to tell time or at least know that the number 10 is way after the number 7. I just got lucky that morning and had quite a bit of peace.

Take the good with the bad

Lately Jory has been quite open about his bodily functions. He will tell me just after a belch that he burped. Laugh and then tell me, "That made me laugh so hard, I cant even stop laughing." 

I was playing with his cars and tracks today. In the middle of a race we were having, he gets up and goes to the bathroom to pee. I was so proud that he did this on his own without any prompts. I was ready to praise him tremendously when he got back to what we were doing. He starts to pull up his underwear and shorts and farts. He comes running into the room laughing. Immediately he tells me, "Mommy, I farted in my hand and no poopies came out!!!"  

Wow, how do you respond to that?

Getting Picky

I am sitting here at lunchtime trying to feed Mira a healthy lunch. I gave her a half of a mini bagel with butter on each of the sides. She did ok with them. She started off by eating it from the bagel and then started to pick little pieces with her fingers and putting them in her mouth. I gave her 2 raspberries and I don't think she liked that. She just stuck her thumb in them and mushed them all over the high chair tray. Then I went safe and gave her cut up grapes and some honeydew which she did well with. I started to make myself a sandwich and attempted to give her a slice of munster cheese. I even rolled it up so she can hold it as she bites into it. Nope. I actually didn't know that cheese can be made into so many pieces and they stick to the floor (and your foot) once you accidentally step on it. Yuck. Last, but not least, I gave her a strawberry for the first time today. She inspected it as if something was going to pop out of it. Then she tried to get all the seeds off of it. She touched it to her mouth and gave me a grimace. OK, so it was a little sour. I gave her another one and cut it up this time. Those all went on the floor, too. Just know that strawberries stain old wallpaper. At this point, I gave up. I think she got enough and I am sure I'll give her a snack of goldfish or grahm crackers later. I forget that I was baking cookies and I get them out of the oven. They cool off as I am eating my sandwich and trying to get Mira to drink milk. I figured, why not? Whats the harm in a mini cookie? So I give her one. She grabbed it out of my hand and recognized it. She ate it before I could sit down. She starts to point and squeal like the cookies were being stolen out her very hands. She doesn't let up until I give her another. Yup, thats what she wanted. She scarfed that one down and now I am trying to hide the rest of the batch. She certainly knows what she wants!

Hello? Helloooooo?

It's about 4:30 or so on Friday and I received a strange call at work.  The caller id showed that the call was from Randi's cell.  I answer but hear nothing in response.  Then I am able to make out some grunting, perhaps some fiddling around with the phone.  Oh, she must have accidentally redialed her last call, and she's in the car.  With nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon, I listen in a for a while.  I figure she'll eventually notice and apologize and we'll both go about our day.  Then I hear more voices, but not really words.  OH, ok, Mira must have grabbed mommys phone and hit talk.  I can see that happening.  I try and get a response.  "Mira! Mira, it's daddy!".  Nothing.  Then I hear "Daddy?".  OK, so it's the other one...  The conversation continues.

"Jory, wheres mommy?"

"She's upstairs with Mira"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm watching Little Bill"

"How did you get mommys phone?"

That last question was ignored, as were countless others.  The conversation went back and forth for five or ten minutes with me interrogating Jory, trying to understand the scene unfolding at home.  Then I hear Randi in the distance..

"Jory, who are you talking to?"

"I just called daddy at work because I had to ask him a question."

Randi heard him talking but assumed he was talking to the TV, unaware that he could have been having a conversation with anyone in her address book!  Jory was very proud of his accomplishment.  I'll expect more phone calls in the future.

A Stupid drinking game

I am sitting here waiting for Jory to finish his chicken nuggets and he is actually doing a pretty good job this time. 3 out of 4 is not bad at all. He starts to say something to me and just went on and on. I was just listening and quite amazed at how many times this kid can say the word stupid in such a short amount of time. He was so matter of fact about it and I actually think he was waiting for me repremand him. I guess he was testing his limits. Today, he got a lot farther than he normally would have. This is what he said. Now get your beer bottles out and every time he says the 'bad' word, DRINK! 

You know, stupid is a bad word. Did you know that stupid is a bad word? When someone says stupid, I yell at them and say stupid is bad word. You shouldn't say stupid because its a bad word and I don't like people that say bad words. It's not nice to say stupid. If you say stupid, you are a bad guy and I fight bad guys.... 

This is where I had to cut him off because the conversation was going in a different direction. See my previous post.  

Were you drinking?Is your bottle empty?  

Too smart for the coach...

We had soccer "practice" today.  I call it practice because 4 yr olds dont play actual games, they just do drills.  Jory always corrects me, saying he doesn't need practice.

Some of the dads prefer to help out on the field with the kids.  I call them "helper dads".  They get involved with the drills and help keep the kids in line.  Others, like myself, prefer to observe and see how their child does in a team situation with an authority figure like a coach.  We'll call these "independent dads".

Jory was having a great day.  He was really following what the coach was asking, and I didn't think he even knew where I was standing.  The next drill, coach Jeff yells out "OK, kick it down there to the daddys!" and points to the "Helper dads" downfield.  Jory runs the opposite direction and kicks the ball to me.  The coach quickly corrected him and said, "No Jory!  Down there!", to which Jory responds, "But my daddy's over here!"

There is always another way

Today while leaving Special Gym (OT) Jory tells me another way to get those bad guys. 

"I can make the bad guys dead with my shooter. I am a good shooter and I can make them dead with it. Right Mommy? When I am shooting, everyone thinks I am a Superhero because I wear a cape. Where is my cape mommy? I need to be a Superhero with super powers so I can make the bad guys dead."

What's your superhero name?

Mommy, are there bad guys in this world?

Yes, but Mommy and Daddy try to protect you from them.

I don't want you to protect me from bad guys. I fight bad guys.

Don't you think you might get hurt?

No, I'm a good fighter. Right, Mommy? 

Yes, but..

Are you a good fighter, Mommy? 

Of course I am.

I fight until the bad guys are dead. Can you do that Mommy?

{awkward silence}
I think your sister is up from her nap now.

Peas, oh the peas!

The other day just after I got Jory ready for school and on the bus by the bright and early time of 8 am I went to do my power food shop. I zipped through the supermarket and as quickly, tried to unpack the bags when I got home. As I am trying to put away all the miscelaneous items into random parts of the kitchen, Mira is crawling around exploring anything and everything I bought. She finds the frozen food bag and to her delight, she discovered a massive bag of frozen peas. Peas are one of the major staples of her day. She loves them. No wait, I may be so bold to say that she might even live for them. I am watching her explore this bag and at first, she tries to pick the peas off the picture on the bag. Very confused, she keeps trying to pick one up. 'Why can't I grab one?', she is probably asking herself. Frustrated, she realizes the little green balls are inside this baggie thing. She starts to whap at it with her hand. Maybe she was trying to hit it open like a pinata.  After many attempts at hitting the bag and not getting to the prize she decides to rip it open with her teeth. She starts to rip at the corner of the bag. With only bottom teeth she doesn't understand that this is going to be a lot harder than it seems. She gets very frustrated and starts to whine with every tug and pull on the frozen pea bag. I decide that maybe I should just give them to her. I place her in her chair and whip out the leftovers of her dinner. I don't even bother to warm it up. If she really wants to eat, then she will eat it cold. I dump a half a bowl of a corn, peas and carrot mix on her tray and she dives right in. She acted like I have never fed her before and that there will be no food tomorrow. When I was done unpacking the groceries I look over to see how she was doing and she ate all the peas. Yup, she left a plateful of yellow and orange and picked out EVERY SINGLE PEA!